my soap journal

Scripture:

Ezekiel 14:3 “Son of man, these leaders have set up idols in their hearts. They have embraced things that lead them into sin. Why should I let them ask me anything?”

Observation:

There are three things in my life that threaten to become idols:

My Work

I feel like I’m good at what I do and I enjoy that it makes me feel useful and productive. If I let this be the source of my value.

My Family

I am constantly overwhelmed with love for my wife and children. They make my heart light and full. I could easily replace my identity as a child of God with my identity as a husband and father.

My Self

My default nature is for the preservation and exaltation of me. The last thing I want to do is lay my life down for Christ – it is so much easier and feels so much better when I am my own god.

Application:

I can never remove any of these from my life, and I certainly don’t believe Christ would ask me to (except, arguably, the last). However, I can be mindful of the danger in living for them instead of living for Christ.

Prayer:

Lord – you are my Lord. You are my Savior. I want only to worship you. I know that my  value is only in you, that my identity is only in you, that I exist expressly for you. I want to live that way – help me live it!

Dear Lord -
Life has been consuming lately. My weekends are full and my weeks seem to vanish. Work is good, but it consumes far more than 40 hours of my week. I’m having trouble focusing on anything other than work – it distracts me constantly. I’m tired.
Even during these moments – my quiet times dedicated to you – I read but I do not hear. Given the noise that I can’t seem to shut off I guess I’m not surprised. I need your strength Lord, your power, your wisdom, and your peace. Give me your grace and your mercy – let me hear your voice over the buzz and help calm my spirit. Bring me under your wings of rest.
Amen

Scripture:

John 4:36 “The haversters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike!”

Observation:

Sometimes it’s easy to think of the church as a big people processing machine … we all do our jobs and people move from lost to found to follower. As a somewhat behind-the-scenes employee, this can be even easier to feel. But – I hear the stories. Being part of the harvesting, bringing people to eternal life, what joy!

Application:

What joy indeed; I am truly fortunate to work at the church. Beyond all the things that make it a good place to work, the work itself, bringing people to Christ, is such a rich joy.

Prayer:

Lord, thank you for this blessing.

Scripture:

Isaiah 56:10 “For the leaders of my people – the Lord’s watchmen, his sheperds – are blind to every danger. They are like silent watchdogs that give no warning when danger comes. They love to lie around, sleeping and dreaming.”

Observation:

Whenever there is danger present, it’s nice to have watchmen. When trying to go about the normal business of life, it’s debilitating to constantly be looking over your shoulder and around the next corner. We need people who are doing this for us. What’s even worse than not having a watchmen is to have one who is not doing his job. You think you’re covered so you let your guard down, except the watchmen is paying attention either and you’re more vulnerable than before.

Application:

I would consider myself a watchman over my family and my friends – I have a vested interest in their spiritual health. I’d like to think that they fill that same role in my life. Because of this, I can’t be caught sleeping. Being aware of what’s going on in their life and assessing the spiritual dangers surrounding their situation is part of my duty, as is alerting them when I see danger.

Prayer:

Lord – please keep the watchmen in my life alert, and keep me alert to the dangers in the lives around me.

Scripture:

James 5:9 “Don’t grumble about each other or God will judge you. For look! The great judge is coming. He is standing at the door!”

Observation:

I’ve felt pretty grumbly lately … today feels like an especially grumbly day.

Prayer:

Help me Lord.

Scripture:

2 Chronicles 29:11 “My sons, do not neglect your duties any longer! The Lord has chosen you to stand in his presence, to minister to him, and to lead the people in worship and present offerings to him.”

Observation:

When I think about “ministering” to someone, I don’t typically think of God. In fact, I think of the need the other way around – I need God to minister to me! But … that’s not what Hezekiah is telling the priests here – so what does it look like? I guess they followed this command by bringing offerings, worshiping, celebrating, and restoring people to God.

Prayer:

Lord, help me see how and where I can do those things better. Thank you for leaving us your Word and its examples and instructions.

Scripture:

James 2:12-13 “So whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God’s mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you.”

Observation:

Judged by the law of love. That’s a system I can submit to. Mercy is such a tricky thing. Dictionary.com defines it as “compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one’s power” and “the discretionary power of a judge to pardon someone or to mitigate punishment.” Any time we’re in a position to show mercy, we’re likely also in the position to revel in our power over another person. It’s that “discretionary power” feeling: I could smite you, or I may pardon your transgressions. Really it’s a dangerous proposition to put opportunity for mercy into the hands of sinners.

Application:

Because I am under the law of love, and because I desperately need God’s mercy toward me to win out over his judgment against me, my only option is to be merciful. However, I’d really rather not be in the position in the first place.

Prayer:

Lord – first I pray you have mercy on me, a sinner. Then Lord, grant me deep humility whenever I am in this position – the opportunity to exert my “rightness” (which is typically the way I take power) is too much for me to handle. When you’ve finished humbling me, then give me wisdom Lord to show mercy in a way that honors you.